THE METROGNOMES

A score and twenty midgets all sway from side to side
They're gathered in your living room and you've no place to hide;
As the tick-tock of their rhythmic rock recoils from left to right
The swishing of their fishing rods a hypnotising sight

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock...

They came in through the window while spinning through the air,
Embedding in the carpet and causing you a scare
Now cobra-like they're fixing you with umpteen beady eyes
Percussive perching pendulums with plaster-casted thighs.

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock...

They should be in a garden, so what they doin' here?
What evil is in store for you? You've such a lot to fear!
And what unruly lunatic unleashed them on the world
To bring them to your living-room with fishing rods unfurled?

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock...

This mesmerising motion of their metronomic stance
Is surely set to brainwash you into a zombie-trance
Through which the evil genius will have you do his bidding
Well, if he thinks you'll stand for that he must be bloody kidding!

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock...

It's like some bad 'B' movie but you'll have to save the planet:
You're probably the last soul left on earth unchanged, dagnabbit!
IT'S UP TO YOU to kick them where it hurts; so gnomes en-garde
(But God knows, with concrete testicles it's going to be hard).

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock...

And then you see the News Report that brings you back from space
It seems that some tornado hit that Texas Homecare place
Amongst the list of missing stuff were fourty garden gnomes
Which must have sucked into the sky and blown in your home.

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock...

And so you greet reality like some far wandered friend,
And laugh at your stupidity for going round the bend;
It really seems implausible - but "truth's as strange as fiction"!
And then you see their leader grin and bounce into the kitchen...

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